I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
