i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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