Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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