I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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