dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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