her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
