Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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