hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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