wat bout pragnant strippers??
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
