it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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