dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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