she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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