Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
