hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i would punch a child for taco bell
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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