The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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