I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Randomize
