I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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