A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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