College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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