I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She's the barista slut.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize