I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I am available for nakedness
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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