I'm jealous of your bromance
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
