therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
