Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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