nutella sex= disaster
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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