did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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