ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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