Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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