Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I smell like Dick and happiness
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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