Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
