Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
