Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
