He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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