Say something about gay babies.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
