I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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