Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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