Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
