I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize