At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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