Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
