Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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