'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
