I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
