69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
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