Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
