I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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