Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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