she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
