At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Less talking, more tequila
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
