i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
