do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
