so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
honey bunches of taint.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize