Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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