Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
