my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
