My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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