"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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