apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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