I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
