When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
